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1:37 p.m.
2004-05-23
Emptying the Brain Again
Things have gone up and down. Things always go up and down. Lately, it's been like a wave or something, cresting and falling, always uncontrollable. I hate it with the passion of a thousand fiery suns.
I want school to be over. I don't ever want to show up to Religion and Lit in China ever again, but alas, I still have four more sessions for that class, as well as Composition and Style and Classical Mythology. I have to go to all of them, even if I'm dying, or else my grade will suffer. I hate this. I just want it to be done.
I sit and think that if school's over, things will calm down, but then I remember that school's not the only problem...it's just an added stress. There's bills to pay, jobs to do, people to see, and more. I've got to make time for everyone, and as of late, I've been really bad at that. Fuck, I've always been bad at it. I guess I'll just have to concentrate more.
I went to Subway today to visit, and Lauren was there. She dropped her two weeks' notice, so she won't be there when I get back. The only people that I'll work with that I know well will be Brett, Hannah, and Veronica, and that's kind of depressing. Plus, Hannah said that they're not hiring anyone new, even though there's barely enough people to cover each shift. I wonder if that means they're not re-hiring me. I have to call Bill tomorrow.
I also have to call Carso tomorrow, and tell him to take me off the cantor's schedule at Fisher. I'll offer to be a substitute, but with my unreliability this year, I doubt he'll ask me to do that. I completely understand. I just missed my fourth mass, for God's sake. Yet another thing to make me want to hit myself, mainly because it's a conscious decision.
I'm barely going to be home this week. I have to spend part of Wednesday at the library, and most of my breaks on Tuesday as well, because I guess we're going "wedding" dress shopping on Thursday. One of my older cousins is getting married in June, and my mother wants to take my sister and me shopping ASAP. I guess Thursday is the day. At least if it's not too overly nice, I'll be able to wear it to graduations, graduation parties, and the like. Prom-type dresses will be on sale, now that the season's over...*sighs*
I'm wearing Lowell's new bat hat right now, and I smell like chicken teriyaki, because that's the sandwich I got from Subway. I kind of hope that smell goes away, as it's a little embarassing to smell like food. I had too many of those days when I actually worked at Subway, and I'll have those days again when I start back there.
It's fun to ramble.
Quote for the Day: "You look like you dragged an elephant 5000 miles to get here." --Jer, commenting on how dead I looked at the marathon last night