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10:47 a.m.
2003-10-14
Stupid Rant
I continually get dragged into things that I don't need to get dragged into. Normally, it doesn't bother me. But when I was specifically told I wouldn't get dragged into something, and I still get dragged into it anyway, it bugs me. Like the marching band thing this past Friday. Sure, it ended up fun, but getting dragged into it against my will was very, very annoying. It caused a lot of yelling. Last night would have caused a lot of yelling had there really been any reason to yell.
Mom called me during anime club, and since she knew I was going to be there, I knew it had to be something important. She told me to call her back later, so I did.
And the problem isn't even mine. It's James', and it's tuition, and it's stupid. He's stupid, Mom's stupid, they're all stupid. I realize I sound like a five year old, but I don't much care at present. It's all very stupid, and for no other reason than it does not concern me, but I have to be concerned about it because they won't let up on it.
What bugs me the most is the lack of fairness (I know there's a better word for that, but I just don't care). I had to learn all this stuff by myself. Financial Aid, Student Accounts, registering, advising, all that stuff--I had to go and figure it all out for myself. Mom had never had to do anything like this, and neither did Dad, and my aunt who had gone through this was not very forthcoming with help, so it was left up to me. Now, I know how things work, after going against my normal nature and just jumping in there and finding out the way stuff works. It was annoying, but at least it's done.
But instead of doing the same, they both think, "Hmm, Abby knows how this stuff works. Let's just make her take care of it." Well, I'm sick of it. My mother hasn't even come to see my college. In the two full years that I've been here, she's never once come to see where I spend about twelve hours each day, though it really wouldn't be difficult for her to do so. But now that James is here, all of a sudden, it's like, "Hey, let's make plans to come visit." It's very, very frustrating. So just because it's something that you've lived through vicariously makes it okay to start truly living it? I realize how little sense that made as well, but I don't much care again.
Life isn't fair. I know this. But there are parts of it that can be. And when it seems like you just don't care whether stuff is fair or not is very frustrating and upsetting. Blah.
And I'm in a good mood, more or less. Cranky, sure, but in a good mood. Can't tell? Not surprised.
6;15 PM: Oh, and I have gone to the dark side and made a LJ. If you want the name, sign me and I'll let you know if you can have it. I'll do the majority of my posting here, no da, but there might be stuff there once in a while.
Quote for the Day: "Some of the best lessons we ever learn are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom and success of the future." --Dale E. Turner