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2:53 a.m.
2002-03-26
Fear of Sleep
I can't fucking sleep.
I don't know what's wrong. I got about four hours last night, and maybe six hours the night before--if I'm lucky. I'm fucking falling asleep at the keyboard right now, but I can't bring myself to climb into the bed and attempt to truly sleep. I don't want to move. I just don't.
I think I'm scared. I think I just don't want to get into bed, try to get comfortable and warm, and not be able to fall asleep again. I don't want to dream the weird dreams I keep getting. I don't want to feel gypped out of a night of sleep again. I'd rather continue exhausting myself so that I know I'll sleep well another night this week than know that my attempts at sleep tonight are just futile. I can't take this anymore.
I know what I need to get the best night's sleep I've ever had. But I can't have it right now. Soon enough, though, it'll be possible.
Te amo.
Quote for the Day: "Celine Dion time!" --AX