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11:47 a.m.
2004-05-19
ACen '04 -- Day 4
Abby has...fifteen minutes to finish this entry before she goes to work. Here's hoping it works, 'cause I'll probably be busy during most of work. ><
Things have just been weird for a while now. I never know where I stand with anything, or where I'm going with anything. I'm just sort of living one day from the next, taking all the shit that comes with it. Is that what it means to start growing up? I don't fantasize as much anymore, I don't daydream, I don't even play on the internet as much (no, really, I don't). And I don't even have that much of a desire to, either. I don't know. It's like...I don't know. Now I'm just frustrated with everything.
But anyway, now that I only have five minutes...
Sunday
We lounged around at Hans' until almost 11:30, then headed to ACen. When we got there, the Spoony Bards (Jer, Andrew, and their musicians) were still playing, and Aya wanted to go get food. When we got halfway there, I realized I was going to be late for my anime club summit panel, so we got my car, drove there, got food, and then I went to park in the lot. Carl paid for my parking (I still owe you people for paying for my parking), and then I hurried over to the panel, which ended up starting late anyway.
Sarah, Sue, Dan (from club) and I attended the panel, and while it was interesting and helpful, I didn't necessarily learn anything new. Most of the stuff this successful group was doing were things that either Lowell or myself had talked about at one point or another. More about that will be talked about at the general meeting for the club, so hopefully, we'll get some fresh ideas there.
After that, we all just sorta hung out until we couldn't stand it anymore, and Kyuu, Carl, and I headed to Hans' for the last night there. We ate pizza, harassed Lowell, talked, watched the Matrix, played on the computer, talked, and just had a generally good time. I just wish I could have stopped crying. I hate it when there's too much on my mind to handle, and I hate it when the smallest of things set me off. It did that most of the day Monday, too.
I just can't help feeling like one of the biggest bitches around, and like there's nothing I can do about it. Just gah. I fucking hate myself right now.
Done.