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8:44 a.m.
2002-09-03
Feeling Much Better, Thank You
To be entirely honest and completely personal, I'm thinking this loneliness thing (and I know I spelled that wrong, but I don't care) is tied in with PMS or something. Either that, or the thought of my mother leaving me with my siblings. As to the first part, it would make sense, seeing as I'm on day, oh, I don't know, FIFTY or so since my last period. The last time that happened, I missed Chemistry and just sat in a lab for four hours until the pain went away. I literally couldn't move. Thanks again to Gabriel, Stealth, and Lowell, who helped me through that in their own special ways. But anyway, that might be it, since the last time I PMSed I felt extremely alone.
As to the second part...I do remember feeling this alone when my mother went to South Dakota. There were days I just sat and cried, wanting her to be home, wanting someone else to be around other than James and Sally. James is just an asshole all around, even when he's trying not to be, and don't get me started on what a bitch Sally is. I do believe that I'm starting to hate her. Or, if not hate, since I don't usually hate, at least supremely dislike. Sometimes, I think she's going to come around, but then BAM! She shows me that, yes, she is a horrible person. Like I've said before, it may be cool to be mean and insulting around your friends, but it's not cool at home. Your family is something different altogether. But I just can't stand being alone with them anymore. I have absolutely no sway with them, they don't listen to anything I say unless I pose it in the form of a threat (and then, I just get called a bitch or something), and they think they're too cool to listen to their sister. I realize that I act like a child at times, and that I can seem high and mighty, but you know what? That's who I am when you treat me like I'm nothing. I've done more for them than I should have, and I think the time to stop is now.
And so ends Abby's rant of the day. Whoo hoo.
Fic update: I wrote the first bit of the next section. What I'm trying to decide is this. I had planned on the fourth section consisting of an "attack" on Mordor, a meeting in Lothlorien, and then a big "Council of Mirkwood". Now, I'm wondering if I should make the Council of Mirkwood its own section. It's not going to be exceptionally long (although I bet most of you are ready to bean me at the length of these sections thus far), but it has a few things to cover. Maybe I shall do it that way. Either way, my deadline for the next section will be this Friday, since I don't have work (yay!). It'll be at the messageboard, and at FF.net, but keep in mind that FF.net pretty much sucks, and it takes about a day for it to truly upload. But whatever. That's that.
Oh, and "Call Me, Call Me" from Cowboy Bebop is one of the best songs evar. *puts it on repeat*
Quote for the Day: "If you want love, we'll make it, swim in a deep sea of blankets, take all your big plans and break them..." --"Your Body is a Wonderland", John Mayer